she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
