i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
