sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
