There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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