Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you would pick up someone in the library
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
