he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
