Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
