I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Can I color on your dick again?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
