thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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