just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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