AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
