Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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