it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
