Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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