I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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