just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize