your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize