Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We're too hungover to prance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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