YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
