Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
