He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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