I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
