I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dear god my vagina.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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