why didn't you poke me back
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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