i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
