let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
