see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
