We got so high we made milksteak
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
