How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
