I'm jealous of your bromance
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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