Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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