So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
