The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
