I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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