The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
