Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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