I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There r osticjed everywhere
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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