I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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