Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
