I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
