So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
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