My boss' voice literally gives me gas
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
