Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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