It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
