the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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