She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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