in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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