He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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