i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
