I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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