you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
