after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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