he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
