She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
