I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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