My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
