All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
home. puking in laundry basket.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
